My PI yelled at me and I’m devastated. What do I do?


Illustration: David Parkins

The problem

Dear Nature,

I started working as a research technician in a neuroscience laboratory in the midwestern United States several years ago. I am the only person in the lab who knows how to do certain assays and I often juggle multiple projects at a time. Most days, I’m completely exhausted by the afternoon. Because I had no previous research experience before joining the lab, it’s hard to gauge whether I’m being overworked or if I should have more support for my tasks.

A few months ago, I ended up making a big mistake in one of my experiments. When my principal investigator (PI) found out, she exploded. She criticized my organizational skills and told me that she didn’t see a passion or spark for doing research in me. I was caught totally off guard because she had never yelled at me like this before. She was supportive when I applied to PhD programmes, but now she was questioning whether I would be a good candidate. It felt like a personal attack, and I’m devastated. I know what I did was wrong, but when I tried to communicate that I felt overworked in the lab and was hurt by her reaction, she disregarded my feelings. What do I do? — Sincerely, a troubled technician

The advice

Nature reached out to three people with experience in negotiating conflict to get their opinions — they all agreed that mistakes happen in science, but that they can be handled in a productive and positive way.

“As a psychologist, I understand the profound impact that harsh negative feedback can have on an individual’s self-esteem, professional identity and confidence to progress,” says Chad Ebesutani, the director of the Seoul Counseling Center. To navigate this situation, he says that you must first acknowledge and process your emotions. It’s natural to feel upset, devastated and confused. Finding someone you can trust to talk to about your feelings can help you to clarify how you feel and gain perspective on your abilities, he says.

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Ebesutani recommends approaching your PI to have a conversation when you feel ready. “Express how the feedback made you feel without being confrontational. You can acknowledge the mistake but also express the need for constructive feedback that helps you grow. Although you don’t have control over how your PI will respond, working up the courage to address this with your PI directly can further develop one’s professional character and resiliency when confronted with such difficult situations,” he says.

It might also help to reflect on the broader context of why the mistake occurred. During your time in the lab, you gained trust and were allowed to take on multiple projects, but the increased level of responsibility (and perhaps a lack of supervision of your workload) might have led to your feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, contributing to the mistake, suggests Ebesutani. “Learning how to employ healthy boundaries to keep your workload manageable could be part of your professional journey forward,” he adds.

For example, “if it is difficult for you to say ‘no’, you can learn to say ‘yes’ with a twist”, he says. Instead of taking on another project immediately, he suggests that you ask your PI if you can start the project in a few weeks, after you’re able to wrap up your current workload.

“Everyone makes mistakes, it’s part of the learning process and completely acceptable,” says Alessandra Filardy, an immunologist at the Federal University of Rio de Janeiro in Brazil. She recommends that you do your best to avoid letting the unprofessional behaviours of others — such as someone shouting at you — prevent you from pursuing your goals in research.

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Edmond Sanganyado, an environmental toxicologist at Northumbria University in Newcastle upon Tyne, UK, agrees. “You need to learn from your mistakes, but don’t let the mistake define you.” It can be easy to start questioning your skills and your career path after you’ve made a mistake, he says. He suggests that you take a moment to reflect on all the successes you’ve had during your time as a research technician.

Sanganyado thinks that part of his job as PI is to be a role model for his students and to create an egalitarian environment in which they feel comfortable sharing their feelings with him. “I always tell my students, ‘I respect you. You are the expert in your area. If I was the expert, I would be the one at the lab bench doing the work.’”

But all three scientists acknowledge that the power dynamics in academic environments can make it hard for graduate students and junior lab members to tolerate difficult lab environments and have conversations with their supervisors about their feelings and experiences. If you feel that it’s not possible to work things out by speaking to your PI directly, they recommend seeking out a departmental adviser, ombudsperson or another mentor at the university to report the issue.

If the lab environment does not improve after you’ve processed your feelings and discussed your experience with your PI, then you might consider moving to a different lab.

All three of Nature’s interviewees agree that your PI’s behaviour was unprofessional and detrimental to your well-being. They all recommend building a network of friends, family members, colleagues and mentors who can provide emotional support and guidance during challenging situations inside, and outside, the lab.

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